Dear Misty,

I own a small barbecue shack outside Picayune, Ms. People come from miles around to eat my brisket. It’s 15 hours a day, seven days a week, 364 days a year (I give myself Christmas off), but I love it. Love the smell, love the food, love my customers. It’s all good.

Only downside is I don’t have much time to go out and get me a lady, so I pretty much have to do without or hope somebody cute wanders in looking for a man who smells like smoke. My waitress just quit, so I was interviewing for a new one the other morning.

Before lunch is about the only free time I have during the day. It wasn’t going too well. My appointment was late and I was just about to give up on her and make some sauce, when in she walked. She was a vision dressed like a whore. Drop dead beautiful (think Vanessa Williams during the Miss America years), she wore a leopard skin halter top, tight leather britches and platform boots that rose above the knees.

“May I help you miss?” I asked. “You the one looking for a waitress?” she replied. “Yes, maam.” “Well, here I am.” She raised her arms and did a little slow spin to show me all God had graced her with. Mmmmmm, mmmm, she did have a fine body to go with the face, I had to give her that. Even with the smoke and the sauce hanging in the air, I could smell her perfume so it had to be strong.

I asked if she had any experience. “No.” Is she a fast learner? “Not really.” Does she like to cook? “Not so much.” “Then why should I hire you?” I asked. She thought for a minute, then said. “Ummmm, I like sausages.”

With that she spit her gum in her hand, walked over and handed it to me. My eyes must have been as big as dinner platters as she pulled down her top to reveal two luscious titties with large dark brown nipples.

“Ummmm,” I started to speak, but really didn’t have anything to say. That didn’t matter because she dropped to her knees and unzipped my fly. “Oooooh, you are a big boy,” she said as she pulled my dick out.

She kissed the head and licked it until I got stiff, then took after it for all she was worth. The smell of the brisket cooking on the smoker and the sensation of her sucking and licking my penis drove me wild. I had to lay back on the floor. I felt like I was going to faint. She took after my dick like a rabbit after a carrot and it was all I could do to breathe, much less talk.

I absolutely erupted into her mouth and she swallowed every drop, just like Fatty Higgins when he eats a barbecue platter. God it felt good. We were behind the counter and kind of lost track of time. I heard the bell on the door ring.

“Y’all open?”

It was Lou, one of my regulars. We both popped our heads up from behind the bar. “Yep, just dropped something here Lou, be right with you,” I said. I scrambled to get my dick in my pants and get zipped up. We both stood up. “This here is…”

I drew a blank. She never told me her name. “Lidia” she whispered. “This here is Lidia,” I said. “She’s my new waitress.” Lou just looked at her and gave a little nod. “Well, that’s bound to help business,” he said. I looked at Lidia and one of her breasts was hanging out of her top. She tucked it in, rather casually, and told Lou she hoped he wouldn’t hold that against her when he was figuring out his tip.

I went in the kitchen, Lidia worked the lunch shift and we banged when we could for several days. I finally had to fire her though, cause she kept coming on to the customers. They didn’t really mind that much until she asked for money, then it got to be a little much. So I’m still looking for a waitress, and a woman, but Lidia was one saucy babe.

Paul in Picayune

Dear Misty

My wife and I have been married for seven years, and as they say, that seven-year itch has gotten to both of us. I found out she had an affair last year with one of her coworkers, so to get even, I went out and had one with a girl I met online.

Both affairs ended months ago, and we decided that we are still in love, so we’ve forgiven each other and have been going to marriage counseling. One of the things the doctor told us was that we needed to get excited about seeing each other every day and to spice up our love life. I was just thinking of bringing some flowers home, but one night my wife totally shocked me.

Click on the picture for more dominating action.

Still, I have to admit I got pretty horny watching this girl in a leather teddy laid the whip to these guy’s bare asses. My wife noticed my bulge and gave me one of the best blowjobs I’ve ever had in my life as we sat there and finished the movie.

The next night I brought home flowers. I called my wife’s name as I entered our home, and heard her answer from the bedroom. I rushed in, wanting to surprise her with the flowers, but instead I got a jolt.

There was this cute little girl, all 5 feet 4 inches and 110 lbs of her, dressed up in dominatrix clothing. She had a leather cap, a leather bustier and crotchless leather panties. Knee-high leather boots with stiletto heels and a cat of nine tails finished off the out fit.

“GET NAKED,” she barked. I didn’t ask questions, I just threw the flowers on the dresser and had my clothes off in a flash.

She handcuffed me face down on the bed and started flogging my ass with that cat of nine tails, lightly at first, then harder and harder until I actually screamed. I’d never gone through anything like this. I wasn’t sure if I should cry from the pain or laugh from the pleasure. My ass felt like it was on fire as the twinges of the leather thwacked across it again and again.

Then she started beating the bottoms of my feet with the whip. At first it tickled, then stung. She must have sensed when it became too painful (probably from my whimpering) because she moved slowly up my legs, past my ass and onto my back.

The pain kept me from shooting my load all over the bed spread. When I thought I couldn’t take it any more she unlocked me and flipped me over, then locked me up again. She teased my prick gently with the whip until it was at full attention again, then straddled it like a proper cowgirl.

It didn’t take me long until I shot my wad; I’m surprised the force didn’t knock her over. Once we were done with that, she took my prick in her mouth and pumped me dry again. It was the best night of love-making I’ve had before or ever expect to have again. Now we take turns surprising each other with a little domination. She let me fuck her in the ass for the first time the other night, and now she’s trying to talk me into taking a strap-on up the ass. I’m still thinking about that one, but our love life is better than it ever has been.

Paul in Pittsburgh

Dear Misty,

I’ve been a paraplegic since I crashed in a Supercross event two years ago. I was supposed to do a 720-degree flip, but it ended up being more like a 540 and I came crashing down on my neck. It’s been a long road back. I’ll never walk again; I can’t feel anything from about mid-thigh down.

My wiener works, which is a blessing, but as you can imagine it’s a little difficult to meet girls.

I had a hot girlfriend when I was in the midst of my Supercross days. We used to fuck at least three times a day before the accident. She stayed by my side until all hope was lost for a full recovery, then it was “Adios, Amigo.” Good riddance to the bitch.

There hasn’t been a girl in my life in some time. They aren’t exactly lining up to be with a guy in a wheelchair, so I was kind of pleased to meet a new girl at my Physical Therapy session a couple of months ago. Her name is Susie, and she is a paraplegic just like me (without the wiener, of course).

She had been in a car wreck a few years earlier in Florida. She had been going through Physical Therapy there since that time, but her parents weren’t happy with the progress, so they moved to Houston. The place I go is supposed to be one of the top PT clinics in the country. Anyway, we started doing some training together and kind of hit it off. One day our trainer left us alone while we were on our yoga mats and she rolled over and pulled her top down and started doing pushups.

She has nice sized gazongas, and I was glad to see them out getting some air. When I asked her what she was doing, she challenged me to a push-up competition. Well, she knew what she was doing. With her big titties exposed, she only had to go about half as far down as I did, so she won. When I asked her what she won, she said, “I’ll let you know later.”

The following week we were in the pool doing water exercises and she floated over to me. “I’ll take my prize now,” she said. Then she reached down into my shorts and grabbed my dick. I was a little surprised, but it felt good. “Ooooo, you’re a big boy, aren’t you?” she smiled and floated away. We continued flirting through our workouts until I finally asked her out and she agreed.

Susie is 21, but still lives with her parents. I live alone in an apartment that is specially decked out for my needs. I also have a van with hand controls and a wheelchair ramp, so I drove over to her place to pick her up. I was a little concerned about her parents’ reaction, but they were thrilled to be finally getting her out of the house. “Now you kids don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” her dad joked as we backed out of the driveway. I wasn’t sure what he wouldn’t do, but I had my hopes up for the evening.

We went to my place and I made dinner. I’m not much of a cook, but I can make a mean mac and cheese and garlic bread. Susie was amazed how well I could get around the kitchen. After dinner I popped a movie in and we snuggled on the couch. “Spaceballs” had only been on for a few minutes when she leaned over and kissed me.

“I am so horny right now,” she said. “You?” “You have no idea,” I told her. She ripped her blouse off and I removed my shirt. I buried my face in those big tits while she worked to pull my pants off. You don’t realize what a struggle it is to do the simple things until you lose some of your muscle function.

She finally got them off and I was able to remove her pants as well. We both looked down at each other’s legs and laughed. A couple of years ago, I probably would have cried to see my atrophied legs hanging like useless sticks, but hey, when life gives you lemons…

At any rate, we didn’t look long. We were able to swing ourselves around into a 69 position and she worked the hell out of my cock while I ate her sweet pussy. When we both were ready we sat back up and I picked her up and basically stuck her on my dick. It felt like heaven as she slid down on to my rusty cock. I grabbed her under her breasts and lifted her up, then back down, over and over again. She rubbed her clit while I pumped her and we both erupted into a sweaty heap.

We kissed and fondled. “You aren’t done yet, are you?” she asked. “Not by a long shot,” I said. In a couple of minutes, I was ready and we did it again… And again… And again… By my count, but I could be off by one or two, we did it six times that night before we fell asleep, naked, in each others arms. I woke up before her in the morning and made Belgian Waffles, which we inhaled before I took her home.

Her parents met us at the door with tears in their eyes. You would have thought I saved her life, they were so happy. Reality was, I think we saved each other. Things have been progressing nicely now for the last few weeks and we’re seeing each other regularly. There’s talk she may move in with me, so keep your fingers crossed.

Happy in Houston

Dear Misty

Let me just say I’m a big fan. I love how in touch you are with your sexuality and how you don’t give a shit what anyone thinks. I try to model myself after you as much as possible.

My family owns a 2,000-acre farm in Ohio. We grow wheat and corn mostly. At 18, I’m the youngest of six kids, three boys and three girls. We have always been expected to work the farm and to tell you the truth, I’m kind of a tomboy. We live way out in the country and my parents are kind of liberal, so we’ve been running around naked ever since we were little kids.

My oldest brother is 23 and we’re all one-year apart, so we’ve grown up looking at each other’s bodies. And no, you sick fucks, this is not turning into some kind of brother/sister incest story. Ewwwww! The point is I’ve seen plenty of naked men and girls in my life (and I think our entire family is pretty attractive), so a cock or two isn’t going to shake me up.

We were all down to the pond skinny-dipping the other day. It was a blast as it always is. We usually head down there after a hard day of work to cool off. We have a rope to swing on and some inner tubes and it’s just a fun time. Mom rang the dinner bell and the rest of the kids threw on their shorts and tops and jumped on their quads and raced home.

I wasn’t particularly hungry, so I took advantage of one of the long summer days and lay naked on the top of our raft, soaking up the rays. I must have drifted off to sleep, cause the next thing I knew I opened my eyes and was looking at the stars. It was a little bit chilly, my nipples were standing up and saluting, so I figured I’d better head up home.

After swimming to shore, I noticed something was amiss. Not only were my clothes gone, but so was my quad! I just knew it was my asshole brother Dave. He’s always pulling some shit like that. There I stood under the stars, naked as a new-born, with no cover in sight. I was steaming and just getting ready to hike the half mile or so to the house when I heard giggling coming from a stand of bushes. Convinced it was Dave, I picked up the nearest rock and chucked it as hard as I could into the bush.

“Yeeeeoooooowch, what did you do that for?” came the cry from the bush. “Dave, you asshole, give me back my clothes,” I yelled. “I ain’t Dave,” the voice said. “It’s Lori.”

Lori is my best friend in the whole world. We were cheerleaders together and I had just been the maid of honor at her wedding. Apparently she had just got back from her honeymoon and came over to see me and got pointed down to the pond. She thought taking my stuff would be a good joke, but hadn’t counted on my rock chucking ability.

“Oh shit,” I said. “Sorry about that.” She walked out from behind the bush rubbing her head. “I guess that’s what I get for being funny,” she said. “Good thing you hit me in the head.” We hugged and kissed and I told her to tell me all about her honeymoon. She smiled, but I could tell something was wrong.

She broke down crying as she told me about her husband hitting her every night. We must have talked for hours and ended up laying in each other’s arms on the grass, just staring at the stars. I got so engrossed in her story I never got dressed, a fact that soon came in handy. I held Lori in my arms, just thinking about her bastard husband, when she rolled over and put a hand on my breast. We looked in each other’s eyes, and then she kissed me. It was a real kiss, not a friend kiss. Funny thing was, I kissed her back. Pretty soon, we were locking lips and swapping spit and before I knew it she had her fingers in my pussy.

“Whoa, whoa.” I said. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

She nodded. “I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time.” Lori sat up and whisked off her denim shirt, then wriggled out of her shorts. Damn, she had a fine body, almost as good as mine. I tried to ignore the bruises on her back and we kissed again and she started fingering me. I was moaning with delight as she flicked my clit and pumped my pussy with her fingers. She released her kiss and moved her lips and tongue down my breasts and across my stomach before settling in on my box. It was a good thing we were far away from the house, because my moans were turning into screams as I thrust my hips and shuddered all over.

No man had ever given me an orgasm like that. Her turn soon came and I licked that sweet cunt for all it was worth, bringing her to a giant O.

Naked and a bit cool, we huddled in each other’s arms under a blanket of stars in what turned out to be a perfect night. That was until we saw Dave riding away on my quad waving an armful of clothes over his head. “Damn you Dave, you asshole,” I said.

We both looked at each other and burst out laughing. It was just what Lori needed. Lori has since left her husband and moved in with us. We spend a lot of time down at the pond; after our work is done, of course.

Orgasmic in Ohio

Dear Misty

I think I must be going through a mid-life crisis or something. I'm only 23, hot as hell and have a good career going. Only thing is I spend all my waking hours thinking of new and kinky ways to have sex.

I've done the lesbian thing, the two-guy thing, the submissive thing (which I really like), but the latest thing I've tried is water bondage.

For a hundred bucks an hour, this guy ties me up and dunks me over and over, then pulls me out. As I'm gasping for breath, he hits my pussy with an industrial vibrator.

After I've come from that, he throws me down on the ground over a drain and blasts me with this fire hose. Crap, it's all I can do to figure out which way is up when his lesbian assistant comes in with a strap-on. They tie me over some kind of pommel horse and she puts the wood to my ass while he keeps squirting me with the hose.

If that wasn't enough. Just when I think we're all done and I've cummed about a dozen times, they give me an enema and make me hold it in while they hit me with the vibrator again.

I was getting so worked up I thought that butt juice was going to boil. I have never had an orgasm like that one (and the shit I took afterwards was pretty good too).

I go back and do this as often as I can afford it. I'm getting pretty good at holding my breath and masturbating.

Wonder if I can turn that into a career? Water and pussy, who would have thought?

Wet and Wild in Frisco